


Soldier, sit you down and idle

by BladeoftheNebula



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Small Town, But Steve is still Captain America, Cats, Falling In Love, Grieving, Literal Herding Cats, M/M, Road Trips, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Stonyclunk, Tony Stark is not Ironman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladeoftheNebula/pseuds/BladeoftheNebula
Summary: Fresh out of the ice, Steve Rogers is lost. Everything is too loud, and too different, and justtoo much. He feels adrift, unsure what place he has in this new world.He takes a spontaneous road trip, hoping to find some peace; little does he know that it will lead him to a charming little town, Tony Stark and just maybe... a place to call home.Alternate summary: A soft sad boy on a brooom brooom has a serendipitous journey.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 192
Kudos: 462
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [talesofsuspense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/gifts).



> This fic is for the winner of my offering for Fandom Trumps Hate 2020 - Talesofsuspense! They were kind enough to give me some fun ideas to work with so I hope I did them justice :)
> 
> I owe a lot of this fic to AvengersNewB and Mairi over at the PotS discord server for helping me when I got stuck ❤️❤️❤️ and to Musilver for being a great beta 😘

* * *

* * *

Steve was...tired. 

Not lack-of-sleep tired, though he was plenty that as well, but tired to the bone. 

The deep exhaustion of loss and grief, and the earth-shattering amount of energy it took to deal with culture shock nearly every day.

When he’d been at war, he thought he would’ve been happy to finally be back in New York, but well, he’d obviously expected his homecoming to be very different. 

Now it was noisy and packed with people, yet somehow quiet and isolating. It felt like everyone was speaking another language and when he tried to make a connection it was like he was speaking gibberish.

And he’d tried. So, so hard. 

He’d gotten an apartment and made sure to go out and try and be social.

But everything was too bright. Nothing tasted right anymore, and…

And everyone was gone. Everyone.

Not just Peggy, Bucky and the Howlies, but _everyone_. 

His friend Arnie from the old neighbourhood. Mr and Mrs Kowalski who had lived across the hall. Mr Collins who owned the Grocer’s. Father O’Malley from Saint Patrick’s where he and his mother had gone every Sunday. Even just a lot of the singers and stars of the silver screen he’d grown up with.

He was just...so alone. 

His eyes burned and he rubbed a hand roughly over his face. He couldn’t cry. He wasn’t going to do that. It wouldn’t help. 

He didn’t know what would. 

He slammed his fists into the punching bag again and again, faster and harder until his hands were numb, and only stopping when his knuckles had split, rivulets of blood trickling down his wrists. 

Fuck. Not again.

He stripped the tape off, wincing at the tender skin and rinsing the wounds clear in the bathroom. They’d be gone in a few hours, and then he’d come back here and do it all again. 

Just like yesterday. And the day before. 

And the day before that.

Maybe what he needed was to get out. Just out. Anywhere but here. As he walked home from the gym the idea started to take root. He could. He could leave, just start driving and not stop. The freedom of it sung in his chest and by the time he opened the door to his apartment, his mind was made up.

Steve wandered over to his closet and pulled out his duffel. He threw in some clothes, some toiletries and finally his sketchbook and a few supplies.

He layered up and tugged on his brown leather jacket. He pulled on his boots, tying them tight and tucking the laces in so they wouldn’t catch. There was a buzz under his skin as he looked around his bare apartment, so devoid of any personality. It felt right to leave.

He paused as he looked at his shield. It would be less conspicuous to travel without it but the idea of leaving it behind made his chest tight. 

He shoved it into its case before he could think about it any more, swinging it onto his back. He’d just be careful.

He locked the door behind him, hesitating before sliding the keys under the door. 

The first fifty miles speeding down the highway may not have fixed everything, but it was still the best he’d felt since he’d woken up. 

* * *

When he was eventually forced to stop, he pulled into a tourist shop, his thighs aching and stiff from being on the bike for so long. 

He wandered inside, more for the sake of something to do than any need for a souvenir. As he pushed open the door, a little novelty bell gave a hearty jingle. 

“Hi!” A voice called from somewhere inside the shop, though no matter how much Steve ducked and squinted he couldn’t see the source. He wandered in further, his eyes sweeping over the tacky junk littering the place.

He turned a corner, and his eyes fell on a guy with a large smile on his face. 

“Hi.” Steve offered and gave him a little wave. 

“Welcome to _Luis’ Knick Knacks and Curios_. You want keepsakes, we got ‘em. So pick what you like and uh, spend some money!”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Quite a pitch.”

“Yeah we don’t get too many customers. Also our sign fell over so no one knows we’re here.” He picked up a carton of french fries. “You want one?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“So, you, ah, you heading somewhere?” Luis gave him a smile. “Or do you like, live here..?” 

“Just passing through,” Steve tells him, non-committedly. He picked up a snowglobe and gave it a little shake, the flakes circling the dome and landing on a tiny city with a large ant in the middle. “Ahhh, what exactly is this place?”

“World’s largest ant colony,” Luis said, his chest puffing with pride. “My friend Scott made them a little city to live in. It’s rad.”

“Right” Steve offered, giving him a smile. Ant colony in a city. How about that?

“Luis!” A voice called from the door. Both Steve and Luis turned to look to see a guy in the doorway. “I asked around town, no one will help us without asking for a pretty hefty pay-- Oh hi!”

The man walked into the shop and joined Luis behind the counter. “Welcome to _Scott and Luis’ Knick Knacks and Curios_. You want keepsakes, we got ‘em.”

Steve snorted. “Yeah so I heard. I didn’t realise it was a partnership though.” He gave Luis a raised eyebrow and the man gave him a sheepish smile. 

“Yeah, says on the sign. Not that anyone can see it,” Scott grumbled. 

“What’s up with the sign? I didn’t see when I came in.”

“It’s kinda...on the roof?” Luis offered with a shrug. “We had a storm and the wind was like whooosh and the sign was swinging back and forth like crazy. And I was talking to Scott and he was like ‘damn, look at that sign’, and I was like ‘I know right?’, and then while we were watching the sign blew over until it was against the roof and now it’s stuck.”

“It basically just needs a push,” Scott explained. “But we can’t find anyone to do it who won’t charge us an arm and a leg.”

“Huh,” Steve said, the thoughts mulling in his head. “Mind if I take a look?”

The sign was as they had described, but was propped up with a slight gap between the edge of the sign and the roof, and as Steve looked at it, he calculated the angle, the force, and deduced he could probably set it right with a good shove.

“You know I could probably help you out,” Steve offered, looking at the men. “Seems to me I could probably use ropes and the bike and get it done.”

“Oh wow really?” Luis asked, looking excited. “That would be awesome.”

“Yeah I mean if you guys have the tools..”

They gathered the gear together and Steve managed to find a reason to send them both inside, feeling a little guilty for lying, before he checked for observers. He moved to the leaning side, and digging his feet in gave it a heavy shove with his shoulder. The sign post groaned as it straightened, the sign standing proudly again and Steve felt a small thrill at doing something useful. He quickly tied a rope between his bike and the post, revved his engine for effect, and when the two men came out, held out his arms in a ‘voila’ motion.

“Thank you!” Scott said, a wide grin spreading over his face. “You just saved us like a thousand bucks. How can we thank you?”

“It was nothing, really I—“

“I got it!” Luis crowed, jogging back inside for a moment before returning triumphantly. “On the house.”

Steve accepted the hideous snow globe and corny ‘I visited the largest ant colony and all I got was this lousy T-shirt’ shirt with a reluctant smile, looking at the ugly cartoon ant looking up at him. “Ummm thanks, appreciate it.”

“Now, you want a tour of the colony?”

So Steve spent the rest of the afternoon learning about ants, watching them scurry about the model city and somehow managed to hit the road without any further souvenirs.

He gave the guys a wave as he started the bike and made his way back to the highway. He felt a little lighter, the notion that he had made a difference without having to fight settling comfortably into his skin. He found he liked it.

* * *

He was travelling through Nevada when he managed to be in the right place at the right time. 

He almost wasn’t, but an unexpected detour sent him down a side street of well kept houses and tidy lawns, just in time to catch someone cursing loudly, his head swinging around to see it. 

His mind worked fast thanks to the serum, taking in the lower half of someone beneath a car, the straining jack beneath the frame close to breaking. He hit the brakes with a screech, off his bike and by the car parked in the driveway just in time to take the weight of it as the jack gave way. 

He braced the car against his side, his free hand reaching to tug the man free and clear before he let it drop with a loud thud.

The man looked up at him dazed for a second before looking at the car. “Well, that was a spot of good timing,” he said, an English accent framing his words. He glared at the jack a moment. “Damn thing. Well, thank you young man,” he said, wiping a hand over his brow. “My wife would have been livid if I’d let the roast burn.” 

The disbelief must’ve shown on his face, because the man chuckled. “She will, of course, no doubt, be just as happy I did not meet my demise.” 

He reached down to pick up the jack, and Steve stepped forward to take it from him. 

“I’m sure I can do that for you, sir.” He knelt down to put the jack in place. “Won’t take me a minute.”

“Oh! Well, if you’re sure, I’ll go check on dinner. You’ll stay won’t you?”

“I shouldn’t, I-”

“Oh good. I’ll let Ana know to set another place.” He headed up towards the front steps and was through the door before Steve could decline the invitation again. Guess he was staying for dinner. 

Steve looked over both shoulders to check no one was watching, then, forgoing the jack, lifted the car with one hand so he could use the other to undo the bolts, remove the punctured tyre and put on the new one. His super-hearing caught the sound of footsteps from inside the house and he quickly lowered the car down, grabbing the jack like he had just finished with it. 

The man stepped out and seeing the job was done, clapped his hands together. “That was fast! Now that you’re done, bring your bike into the yard where it will be safe and come on inside.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Edwin Jarvis. And you are?”

Steve held out the hand not covered in oil. “Steve Rogers.”

The man’s face twitched slightly, but then he smiled. “Lovely to meet you. I hope you like beef.”

* * *

“Really, Steve, you must have the gravy. It is Edwin’s specialty.”

“Thank you ma’am,” Steve said, taking the gravy boat from her and pouring a generous portion. 

“Ma’am, really! Ana, please.” She smiled. “So tell me, do you live nearby or are you visiting?”

“Neither, I’m just passing through. I’m on a road trip, East Coast to West.”

“Such a long journey,” Ana said, looking surprised. “All on your own.”

“Yes. Just needed some time away.”

She looked curious, but politely didn’t try and delve further. “How lovely. What have you seen so far?”

He told her about his trip, avoiding any of the sadder parts of it, and focusing on the things that had managed to bring a smile to his face instead of a painful memory. 

Ana smiled at the Luis story, and she and Edwin told him a few stories from their own trips over the years. “...and then a seagull flew into him and he jumped so high he tossed his sandwich over the edge of the canyon!” she said laughing, even as Edwin looked put out. “You have never seen a man so desolate over a ham and cheese sandwich.” 

“I had been looking forward to that sandwich the whole drive,” Edwin complained, goodnaturedly. “And you and Tony just stood there and laughed at me, being no help at all.”

“It is not my fault it was so funny,” Ana replied. Edwin sighed, but got up to gather their plates. 

“I hope you like bread and butter pudding, Steve. It’s my own recipe and one of Ana’s favourites.”

Steve perked up. “I do, I had it back in London during the- uh during a vacation there.” He remembered eating the dessert with custard in a BnB he and the Howlies had stayed at during a 48-hour leave. It had been strange at first, but it had grown on him, and he’d had it a few times during his time in England. 

“Excellent.” Edwin took their plates away, waving away Steve’s offer of help. Steve looked back at Ana with a smile. 

“Can I ask where you’re from originally?” Steve asked.

“Ah, I see you caught my accent,” Ana said with a chuckle. “It has softened, with all the years I’ve lived here. I am from Hungary. I came to America during the war, when the Nazis invaded. Edwin helped me get out.”

“Oh,” Steve answered, unsure what to say. It was difficult not to simply speak freely, ask about the old days or the war. “I’m happy you were able to get away.”

“Me too,” Ana said with a smile. “I have had a good, long life here with my Edwin. I am very lucky.”

Steve thought of Peggy. This should’ve been their life if he hadn’t-

“Steve?”

“Yes?”

“Are you ok? Your spoon?”

He looked down to see he had bent it near in half. “Oh god, I’m sorry, let me-” He bent it back, trying to make it seem difficult. “I don’t know what came over me.”

She gave him a thoughtful look but shook her head. “Nevermind. No harm done.”

Thankfully Edwin chose that moment to return with dessert, and the awkward moment passed without further discussion, which Steve was grateful for. He tucked into his dessert, the taste instantly reminding him of sitting around a small table with Gabe, Bucky and Dum Dum, fighting over the extra custard and trying desperately not to spill food on the embroidered tablecloth of the nice yorkshire woman they were staying with, and whose manner suggested to Steve that ruining her things would lead to immediate eviction.

It felt a little less painful than those memories usually did, and he thought perhaps it was that he wasn’t sitting alone at a cafe or in his sterile, empty apartment. Edwin and Ana were kind, and he supposed it helped that they were closer to his true age than people he usually interacted with. 

After dinner, Ana tried to get him to stay but he politely declined. He needed to be back on the road. Ana hugged him and told him to visit again and Edwin walked him out, giving him a little pack of leftovers he hadn’t seen the older man put together but was grateful for. 

“Thanks for dinner,” Steve told him as he straddled the bike. “It was delicious.”

“I’m glad to hear it. We don’t entertain as much as we used to, and I find from time to time that I miss it.” He gave Steve a look. “You really must come again.”

“If I come back this way, I’ll try and swing by,” Steve told him, and Edwin gave him a suspicious look.

“Yes, I’m sure you will, but to be on the safe side, perhaps you and I could exchange cellphone numbers. Just in case.”

Steve wasn’t sure how to say no, and really what was the harm? He gave Edwin his number, and let the man enter his own. 

“I should get going,” Steve said, pocketing his phone and Edwin nodded. 

“Of course. If I might make a suggestion?”

Steve gestured at him to continue with a nod. 

“If you’re heading on to Los Angeles, I would highly recommend both the Yosemite National Park - very scenic and peaceful - and since you’re in the area, there’s a lovely town nearby called Cedar Grove. Very picturesque.” He raised an eyebrow. “And a nice place to take a break.”

Steve felt his cheeks heat. He had the feeling the other man knew this wasn’t a normal road trip. “I’ll have to try for a visit.”

“See that you do. It could be good for you.”

Steve swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He started the bike and felt the rumble of the engine settle under his skin. “Goodbye.”

“Bye Steve, we’ll see you next time.”

Steve drove off with one last wave, and headed for the way out of town. As he reached the corner, he looked back to see Edwin watching from the porch. The old man gave him one last wave, then disappeared inside. 

Steve felt a twitch under his skin. Cedar Grove. 

Hmmm.

* * *

The drive from Nevada to Cedar Grove took Steve a few days. 

He could've made it shorter, but he decided to take his time, stopping often along the way. He spent the night in Yosemite, walking the trails during the day and staring up at the Sequoias, feeling a sense of awe. The trees were older than him, by more than a hundred times over. They had come the long way around, seeing the world change around them with each passing year. All gathered together, the crawl of time nothing to them. 

His chest was tight, his eyes felt hot, and he realised to his horror there was a tear making its way down his cheek. 

He scrubbed roughly at his face before some well meaning tourist noticed and offered help. He felt too raw for other people right now. 

He stood for another minute, breathing in the clean air and then nodded. It was time to go. 

* * *

He was a few miles outside of town when his bike started to splutter.

He frowned, adjusting the speed when suddenly the engine cut out and he had to hold steady as the bike rolled to a stop some ways down the road. 

“Shit.”

He dismounted, setting down the stand and grabbing his kit off the back. He tried the usual fixes, adjusted a few things, but each time he tried the starter, the engine failed to catch. 

Steve put his hands on his hips, blinking up at the hot sun overhead. “Guess I’m walking.”

He started pushing the bike down the highway, feeling the heat on his shoulders and the sweat forming on the back of his neck. Thank god he was so close to his destination.

As he hit the city limits, he was grateful to find the town auto repair shop was close to the edge of town. He pushed the bike onto the drive and rolled it through the big open doors.

“Hello?”

“Hey, be with you in a moment!” The shout came from somewhere in the back, so Steve parked up his bike, taking his bag and belongings off it to get it ready for inspection. He leaned against the wall as he waited, looking around the shop with interest.

It was a nice place. Kept as clean as somewhere that dealt in motor oil could be, and the comforting sound of the radio playing in the back. There was the sound of a door opening and then a man walked into the main area, still drying his hands on a rag. 

“Afternoon, how can I help?”

“Hi, it’s my bike, she sort of gave up on me just outside of town. Not sure what’s going on.”

“Oh yeah? Alright, let’s take a look,” he smiled at Steve. “I’m Sam by the way.”

“Steve.”

“Let’s see what’s ailing this old girl, hmm?”

Steve watched as the guy checked over the bike thoroughly for a good ten minutes before humming thoughtfully. “Well, nothing obvious. I’ll have to go over her with a fine-toothed comb.” He straightened up. “Why don’t you head on into town, grab a coffee or something, I’ll take your number and give you a text when I’m done.”

“Oh sure,” Steve agreed, feeling almost sad to be sent away. Sam’s workshop was calming and he didn’t feel like he had to _do_ anything here, didn’t have to pretend anything, he was just a guy with his bike. Now he had to go out and put the mask back on. He gave Sam his number, and took directions to the main stretch of shops a few minutes walk away.

The town was just as nice as Mr Jarvis had said, Steve realised as he wandered down the Main Street. A charming vibe, with many of the shopfronts reminiscent of Steve’s time, though kept in much better condition. There were only a few cars passing by, meaning the town was mostly peaceful but it still had a pleasant bustle, and Steve found his shoulders relaxed, the constant fear of sticking out dropping away as he gave a woman a friendly nod. 

He was glad he came. 

He happened to look over and see a sign for a bookstore and felt the familiar draw of a paperback in his hands. Before he knew it, almost without his permission his feet had carried him inside.

He stepped inside, the shop smelling pleasantly of paper and the faintest trace of coffee, and to his joy, it was quiet. The right kind of quiet, the sort that meant the noise in his head went away and all that mattered was the moment he was in. He felt all his tenseness ease. 

“Hi, can I help you?”

Steve turned at the voice to see a fluffy tabby cat watching him intently from a pile of books. He blinked. “Uh, sorry?”

“I said, can I help you?” The cat’s mouth didn’t move, and Steve didn’t know why he expected it to. But then, he’d seen crazier stuff during the war…

“Umm, hello?” The sound had changed direction slightly, and this time, Steve realised there was a man _behind_ the cat. Oh. He tried not to blush.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” he said, trying to regain his composure and feeling a little embarrassed.

“No problem,” the man said, as he stepped out from behind the desk. “You’re not the first to be enthralled by Jemison. She has a gift.”

“Jemison?” Steve asked. “Interesting name for a cat.”

“Named for the first African american woman in space.” He gave the cat a scritch under the chin. “This gal’s an explorer, seemed fitting.”

“Oh wow.” That hadn’t come up in the lessons from SHIELD. Too much focus on military history. “I didn’t know that.”

“Not everyone does, history’s biased against women, and women of colour especially. But she was rad as hell.” He ran a hand down the cat’s back and she trilled. “Now, can I help you at all? Maybe find you a book?”

“I don’t know,” Steve answered honestly. He felt weirdly overwhelmed, like he’d forgotten how to make small talk. “Your shop just looked interesting. My bike broke down and the mechanic suggested I take a walk while he checked her over.”

“Ah yes. Sam is usually good for sending wayward travellers my way. Bike huh? What kind?”

“A 1942 Harley-Davidson WLA Liberator. It’s, uh, vintage.” Steve had learned early on that word was basically a free pass. 

The man’s face lit up. “Oh that’s a classic. My dad had one he fixed up, I used to love it.”

“It’s a great machine. I can usually do repairs myself, but I haven’t really got anything with me on the road.”

“Oh don’t worry, Sam’s great, he’ll get her roadworthy again.”

“He definitely seemed to know his stuff.”

There was a soft touch to the side of his face, and Steve’s eyes nearly crossed to focus on...a small paw. “Hi there, girl.”

The man huffed amused. “She has no concept of boundaries. What are you doing, cat? Getting your paws on him before we even know his name.”

“Oh, it’s Steve,” he held out his hand, and the other man took it in a firm grip. 

“Nice to meet you, Steve. I’m Tony.” Tony leaned his hip against the desk. “So you on a road trip?”

“Of sorts.” Steve said, weary of giving away too much. “I’ve been...away. For a long time actually. And now I’m back, it feels like- like the world isn’t real. I don’t know where I fit.” That was uncomfortably honest. Far too honest for a man he’d just met in a bookshop, but he was just so lonely…

“Military?” Tony asked, and Steve’s head shot up, wondering if he’d given too much away. “My best friend Rhodey was the same when he got his medical discharge. It takes time to readjust.”

Steve swallowed, looking at the floor as he felt his eyes get hot. Readjust. He’d heard that a lot since he’d woken up. Like he would just wake up one day and be fine with the fact that everyone he knew was dead, the woman he thought he might marry one day didn’t know who he was, and that he was missing the decades of context he would need to make sense of this place.

Readjust. Like he was just an ordinary soldier returned home from a tour. There was a big difference though, between a few years away from home and seventy. 

But he supposed, for his cover, it was close enough. He nodded. 

“Must be tough. Is that why you’re on the road?”

Steve nodded again. “Just needed to get out. New York wasn’t like I remembered.” Jemison meeped, and Steve reached out to pat her, smiling when she purred. 

Tony looked pleased. “She likes you.”

“I’m glad. I’ve always loved cats. Never really been in a position to have one of my own though.” The tabby tilted her chin so he could scratch the white fur beneath. 

Tony’s eyes lit up. “Ah well, if you’re a cat lover, I can help. Since you’ve got some time to kill while Sam checks over your bike, I’m due for my lunch, and I get mine next door, you wanna join me?”

He probably shouldn’t. He was meant to be keeping a low profile.

But this...connection, was something he hadn’t realised he was craving. Tony was looking at him like he could see him. Him. Steve. Not the freshly thawed icon or the out-of-touch old soul everyone else seemed to. He wasn’t ready to give it up. 

“Yeah, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Not at all.” Tony went to the front door, flipping the sign around and turning the lock. “Follow me.”

Tony led him through into the cafe, waving to a tall man behind the counter with a kind smile. This must be Rhodey - Steve could see the remnants of a soldier’s posture and a keen alertness of everything in the room. When Rhodey’s eyes fell on him, there was a flash of recognition of the same he assumed, because the man nodded to him, something like understanding in his eyes. 

They sat down at the back, at a table tucked in the corner, Tony waving to the waitress. She took their orders, her disposition pleasant and bubbly, and eventually brought them coffee and sandwiches. Steve’s stomach grumbled. He hadn’t realised how long it had been since he’d eaten. He tucked into the food gratefully, watching Tony as he explained the cafe, pointing to a few of the cats that were apparently regulars. The way his eyes lit up, the tilt of his head, he reminded Steve of someone, he just couldn’t place it.

“So are you just a bookseller, or do you help out here as well?” 

“Mostly just the shop. Rhodey runs the cafe, and I handle the books. It’s my shop. I’m the Stark above the door.”

“Stark?” Steve asked, the shock throwing him a little.

Because now he had a name, he knew who Tony reminded him of. 

_Howard._

“Yeah?” Tony replied, sounding a little resigned. It clearly wasn’t a new question for him. 

“Ah, as in Stark industries?”

“Yup.” He popped the ‘p’ but didn’t elaborate further.

Feeling awkward, Steve tried to backtrack. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry…”

Tony looked at him for a moment with a sharp gaze but then his shoulders relaxed and he huffed. “It’s ok, you weren’t to know. I am that Stark, but I don’t have anything to do with the family business anymore.”

Steve burned with curiousity but bit his tongue. It really wasn’t his business.

Tony snorted. “It’s killing you not to ask isn’t it? Fuck it, no reason you can’t know, not like the papers didn’t cover it well enough.” He continued petting Jemison for a moment, before saying, “my father and I didn’t get on.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he wanted… well he wanted me to follow in his footsteps, all the while resenting me for being smarter than he was. It was..tough. Then, when my mom passed away, we had nothing keeping us together. I wanted to do something else. And Jay,-“ he looked up to meet Steve’s eyes, “he was our butler, but he loves me like I’m his kid. He’s always been an amateur collector of books. He loves them, and he showed that to me. He wanted to pass on the passion.” He grinned gesturing to the shop. “It worked. So I sold my company shares and bought this place.”

Steve felt an irrational rush of jealousy at that. Tony knew what he wanted, where he felt comfortable and had made it happen. He looked comfortable in his own skin and Steve _desperately_ wanted that, that certainty that he was doing the right thing and not spinning out of control like-

He realised Tony had finished speaking and was looking at him expectantly. “That’s great. That you get to do what makes you happy.”

“It is,” Tony smiled, pushing up his glasses as they slid down his nose. “I think maybe Dad even understood near the end. He left me his signed first edition of _I, Robot_ in his will.”

Steve felt a nudge at his ankle and looked down to see a kitten currently trying to nibble his foot. “That doesn’t explain the cats.” He leaned down to pat her, but instead she leapt up and began to climb his arm. He winced as she clawed onto his shoulder, but melted when she started rubbing her cheek against his clavicle.

Tony laughed. “No I suppose it doesn’t. That was an accident.” He relaxed into his chair and took a sip of his coffee. “I found Jemison in an alley one day not long after I took over this place. I’d just formalised the deal with Rhodey to combine our businesses and I was taking out some trash when I heard her.”

“She was tiny, like too tiny and so I swept her up and took her over to the shelter. They checked her over but they were full up and they asked if I could foster. I figured why not, just for a few weeks.” Tony huffed comically. “And then she never left.”

Steve laughed, accidentally dislodging the kitten who tumbled into his arms instead, settling down and starting to purr. 

“And well, she kept hanging around the bookshop and people kept asking if she was up for adoption and I thought, if people want to adopt her just from hanging out in the bookshop, maybe they’d consider adopting others. So I started fostering a few who were taking a while to get adopted, and then Rhodey had the bright idea that Cat Cafes were getting popular so we expanded. The shelter keeps us supplied with furbabies for adoption, and we help keep them from getting overrun. Plus we help socialise them and give people a chance to get to play with the cats they want to adopt. It works well.” He grinned. “Didn’t hurt business either - turns out book people are often cat people and when you offer them both, it’s hard to keep them away.”

“Was it hard?” Steve couldn’t help but ask. “Stepping away from something you’d always thought you were _meant_ to do?”

Tony hummed. “Sure. It always is. I grew up thinking I’d take over the company, I’d always liked engineering and I’m damn good at it. But then I realised, that just wasn’t what I _wanted_ to do. So, yeah it’s tough, but honestly? I do good here, and I get to work with my best friend next door, so maybe this is what I was meant for. Who’s to say?”

It sounded so simple when he said it. Just do what makes you happy and not owe anyone anything. It’s a nice thought.

“I’m not sure I could do that,” Steve admitted. “What I do, it’s important. I’m not sure I could just give it up, just so I could do something I like better.”

Tony quirked his head. “Maybe you don’t have to choose? Maybe you can be happy and still do what you need to do. Work can’t be all you live for.” He snorted. “Well, unless you’re me. But at least mine comes with kittens.”

He scooped a little black one up off the floor, letting it nuzzle his face, with a soft laugh.

Steve couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t make it fit together in his head. “I’m just not sure that’s in the cards for me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Maybe you just haven’t found your thing yet. And that’s ok. You just need time.”

“Maybe.” 

Tony didn’t push anymore, for which he was grateful, but did hand him the black kitten when his coffee arrived so the little guy wouldn’t stick his face in it. Steve laughed as he tried to prevent one kitten getting onto the table, while keeping an eye on a little ginger one who seemed to be on some sort of scouting mission.

When Tony had to return to the shop, Steve reluctantly put the kittens back in the playroom. Their antics had cheered him up alot, leaving him feeling lighter, not so dragged down by the heavy weight he’d been carrying. It was like taking a breath after being underwater.

“So are you staying in town, Steve? Or heading out?”

“Depends on what Sam says. He said he’d message me when he knew more.” He pulled out his phone, realising there was a notification. “Oh that must be him.”

He flicked it open, and frowned as he read it.

“Everything ok?” Tony asked, sounding concerned. 

“Yeah. Just, um, looks like he can’t get it fixed today. Needs more time and I’ll have to check in with him in the morning.” He tried not to feel relieved. This wasn’t his fault. If he had to stay, he had to stay, it was out of his hands. And maybe Tony wouldn’t mind if he came by tomorrow for a visit.

“That’s a pain, but hopefully not the end of the world, right?”

Steve shook his head. “No, it’s fine. And he sent me the address of a motel in town so I can get a room.”

Tony opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the jingle of the bell as the door opened. 

“Afternoon,” Tony called out, as a customer walked in. “Can I help you today?”

As Tony talked to the woman about the book she wanted to buy for her daughter, Steve watched with a sense of envy. Tony lit up when he talked about books, knew exactly which one she wanted and located it in a second. 

The ease with which he lived his life just looked so...freeing. 

There was something of an afternoon rush, and at one point Steve thought he should go. He didn’t work here and he was just in the way. And really, getting a room sooner rather than later would be sensible. 

But when he tried to make his excuses, Tony simply nudged him towards a chair, telling him to hang around, and he put Jemison in his lap to hold him in place. He spent a nice afternoon in the quiet bookshop, perusing the books that were piled near him and listening to Tony talk to suppliers and customers. The waitress from next door, Darcy he found out, kept bringing him ever more complicated drinks, smiling when Tony whined at the lack of special treatment for him. 

“Well, maybe if you looked like this handsome hunk here, I’d be more inclined,” Darcy told him, poking her tongue out at him. Steve felt the heat rush to his face. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Alright that’s it, out. We’re busy trying to spread the joy of reading. Move your ass out of here.” He shooed her, Darcy laughing when she dodged his playful swatting. It was clear they cared about each other, just having fun at work like it was any other day. 

Steve missed the howlies. 

“Hey, you ok?”

Steve looked up to seem Tony looking concerned and nodded. “Just not used to hearing that from gals I guess.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “That is...surprising. Like, really surprising. I sort of assumed you’d be a chick magnet.”

Steve wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but he could sort of guess from context. “I didn’t used to look like this. I was pretty small and they never really paid much attention to me. Then I was overseas so didn’t really get the chance.” That was probably too much information. He reluctantly cleared his throat. “I guess I should really head over to the motel; It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, about that,” Tony said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his sweater. “The motel is...not great, if I’m honest. The owner, Logan, he’s not exactly the cleanest guy around. I’m not sure I could let you stay there in good conscience.” He slid his glasses back on looking a little shy. “So, if you want, maybe you could stay here? I live in the apartment upstairs, so not much of a commute.”

“That would be nice,” he finally managed, feeling a thrill when Tony’s face lit up in a smile. “I really appreciate that.”

“It’s no problem. Now, I think we can lock up a bit early and go in search of dinner. What do you think?”

He spent the rest of the evening with Tony, helping him feed the cats and cook dinner for the two of them.

When it got late, Tony set him up on the couch, promising him a comfy night sleep. After getting through his nightly bathroom routine, he settled in tucked under the thick blanket. His mind was calm and clear of the thoughts that usually plagued him before bed, probably for the first time in months. He was just so exhausted. 

He expected to find it hard to fall asleep, given how little of it he’d been doing of late. But when his head hit the pillow, it smelled faintly of Tony - spicy and masculine - and he found himself breathing it in and relaxing into its soft embrace. His eyes fell shut, and he was out before he could think anymore. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh my god,” Tony whispered, because the sight that greeted him was...too much.

Steve lay on the couch, where Tony had left him, but now he was covered head to toe in cats. 

He slowly slid his phone out of his pocket, and pulling up the camera, took a few snaps. 

Then he took one more, in portrait. Just in case his phone background needed changing. Or something. 

He must’ve made a sound because Jemison opened one eye and looked at him, giving him a questioning ‘wrrrrr?. 

Tony snorted, leaning down to pet her. “I was wondering why there was no one at their food bowls. Now I know.”

He’d skip a meal to curl up on a buff blond if he could too. 

But still, the shop was ready to open so they really needed to be downstairs. Tony gave a few little clicks. “Come on, let’s go.”

There was a sleepy groan and Steve opened his eyes, looking surprised to see Tony standing there. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Tony replied, and waited. Steve seemed to realise that the weight atop him wasn’t just made of fleece anymore and looked down. “Oh.”

A big smile spread over his face, just making him look even more adorable. Dammit.

“Wow, they’re really warm.” He scritched Molly who had her face buried in his pecs, grinning when she purred. 

Stupid, lucky cat.

“Furry little heaters,” Tony agreed. “Sorry, I have to steal them. They need breakfast since it’s nearly time to open.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up. “It is? What time is it?”

“Half eight.”

“I slept ten hours?!”

“Seems like you needed it. I hope the cats didn’t bother you. I must’ve left the door open.”

“No I- They- I just haven’t slept that much...in a while.” He sounded a little lost and Tony felt his heart ache. 

“Then I’m glad they could help a little.” He cleared his throat. “You probably want some breakfast yourself, huh?”

“I don’t want to be any trouble-”

Tony held up his hand. “You aren’t. I need some too.”

Steve nodded gratefully, then snorted. “I’m a little stuck though.”

“I have a fix for that.” He clicked his tongue again a few times. This time there was general perking of ears, and he held up the box of biscuits, giving it a little shake. “Isn’t there anyone who wants this?”

There was a sudden, furry exodus as eight cats bolted off Steve and raced downstairs. A moment later, there was the sound of food bowls scraping across the linoleum and Steve laughed. “They do not mess around.”

Tony held out a hand to help him up. “They do not. And trust me you learn that pretty quick the first time you trip over three different cats in one meal time.” He headed for the stairs, and called over his shoulder. “Feel free to wash up. I’ll start the coffee and see what I can rustle up.”

Steve nodded, grabbing a few things from his duffel before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Tony looked at the closed door and sighed. He was in trouble. 

* * *

After breakfast, Steve wandered down to the mechanics to chat to Sam and get an update on his bike.

“Morning,” Sam called, as he spotted him through the main door. The man was drinking coffee and sitting at the workbench with his phone. 

“Morning,” Steve returned, and then thought about what Tony said and took a chance. “This the kind of hard work ethic they teach flyboys or…?”

Sam stared for a moment then snorted, making his coffee slop a little over the sides of his mug. “Oh I see how it is. Some army brat comes to town and thinks he can tell me how to do my job.” He gestured to the stool on the other side and Steve slid into it.

“So, am I right? Army?” Sam sipped his coffee and looked at Steve inquisitively. 

Any other question would have made Steve nervous to answer, but thankfully, Agent Coulson had given him a backstory for this. “Special Ops. Spent a lot of time abroad.”

Sam must’ve seen something in his expression. “Yeah I know that feeling. Sometimes I can still feel the sand in my uniform rubbing against my skin. You been out long?”

“A few months.”

“Is that what the road trip is for? Because I get it man, I did a similar thing once I got out. I was so happy to see my family and my friends again, you know? But then after a while, it was like it was too much, that they were too much. And it wasn’t their fault, I just couldn't settle. So I started taking camping trips. Just heading out on my own and just taking some time to be. Worked wonders.”

Steve nodded. “How long have you been out?”

“About four years. Trust me, it’s taken a lot of work to be this open with people about my time after the airforce. But it gets easier.” He paused, clearly leaving space for Steve to say more but when he couldn’t think of anything, Sam filled the silence comfortably. 

“So I bet you’re here to check on this lovely lady, am I right?”

“Yeah, what’s the damage?”

“Well the good news is, it’s nothing too serious. The bad news is, I have to replace a part I’m fresh out of, and it might take time to get in.”

Steve blew out a breath. “So I guess I’m not back on the road this afternoon then?”

“‘Fraid not. Might be a couple of days honestly. I put in the order first thing this morning with my usual guy, who’s pretty reliable, so it’ll be as quick as it can.”

“Thanks, Appreciate it.”

“I’m sure the motel will be happy to keep your room for you, it’s not exactly high tourist season.”

“Oh, uh-” And Steve felt the oddest urge to blush even though nothing had happened. It was more the thought that it  _ could  _ now, more than anything. “I didn’t make it to the motel. I took your advice and went to the cafe, and well, Tony Stark let me crash on his couch.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, but seemed content to leave it at that. “Yeah, Stark’s good people. Rhodey, the guy who owns the cafe, is a good friend of mine. We attend the same VA meetings.”

“VA?”

“Veterans’ Affairs?” At Steve's blank look, Sam’ jaw dropped. “Were you not told about what you can get from the VA? How? They’re the department that gives you support when you’re trying to reintegrate, like health care and benefits.”

Steve felt a little uncomfortable. If he was a regular soldier, he probably would’ve been, but well, they couldn’t send Captain America in with the rest of the public. “I didn’t really need any help I guess.”

Sam hummed. “Well, I mean if you think you’re handling it, that’s up to you. But, a lot of guys find that it helps to be around other vets, even if it’s just to spend time with people who know what you’re going through.”

Steve wanted to laugh. How could anyone know? These guys came back and the world was still just the way they left it. Everyone was still using the same products, slang, the people they knew would still be around for the most part. They came back and they had to reintegrate. Steve had to  _ integrate.  _ He had no basis, he was just spiralling ever downward into a dark, empty void and he-

“Hey, are you ok man?”

Steve blinked. “Yeah, sorry, I’m- yeah. What were you saying?”

“I was just saying that maybe you should have a chat with Rhodey while you’re at Stark’s. He’s a good guy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll bump into him while I’m there.”

Steve figured he should take off, leave Sam to it, but the man gave him a searching look and finally got to his feet. “How do you take your coffee?”

“What?”

“Your coffee - black, milk, sugar?”

“Uh, just black.”

“Great,” Sam got up and wandered over to a small kitchenette and poured coffee from a pot into two mugs. He came back, slinging his leg over the bench seat and pushing a mug over to Steve. “So, you follow sports?”

He ended up spending most of the day with Sam. After coffee he’d planned to take off, but Sam had waved him over to a car that had its hood up, and they’d spent a few hours doing maintenance and tracking an issue with the ignition. 

Spending time with Sam was good. They laughed at stupid jokes, razzing each other and Sam deemed to get a real kick out of pretending to play the guitar along with the songs pumping out of the radio. It was like spending time with the howlies, and Steve soaked up the normalcy of it, the camaraderie. When it started to get close to dinner he called time, thanking Sam for letting him stay and making the short walk back to the shop. 

Tony was getting ready to lock up when he got back, smiling at him through the glass as he let him through, locking the door behind him. “What’s the verdict?”

“Couple of days according to Sam,” he rubbed the back of his head. “I know you didn’t agree to more than a night so I can head over to the motel if you want-”

“Nonsense, you’ll stay,” Tony said, tone leaving no room for argument. “So, you like italian?”

* * *

For someone fresh back from combat, Steve was  _ fun _ , Tony thought as he watched the man stir tomato sauce on the stove. 

The kitchen was warm and cosy and a few of the cats were hanging about watching with interested eyes. 

He couldn’t help but think that it was nice to have someone in the kitchen that wasn’t Rhodey. Not that he didn’t love his platypus, but he and Rhodey were basically family, having him in his space was as easy as breathing. 

This was different. This was new and shiny, and  _ very muscular,  _ like ridiculously so. The shoulder to hip ratio alone…

“Tony?”

Tony’s head snapped up and he blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you knew Jemison was about to steal that piece of ham but now it’s too late.”

Tony turned his head to see a very satisfied cat, licking her chops. “Usually I’m quicker on the draw,” he sighed, and shooed her. “Go on you, go do something else.”

He gave her a nudge and she jumped off the counter with a flick of her tail. Steve laughed, a deep rich sound that Tony found he liked. “I swear that cat eats better than I do. How’s the sauce coming?”

Steve scooped the spoon through and adjusted the heat. “Looks good, want to add the meat before it becomes a casualty?”

Tony snorted, but stepped around him to scrape the meat and veggies into the pan, sizzling as it hit the fine layer of oil and quickly filling the room with the delicious smell of cooking food. 

Steve’s stomach rumbled loudly and he winced. “Sorry.”

Tony shook his head, though he was surprised since he’d watched Steve make his way through a bowl of chips when they started cooking. “Don’t be embarrassed. My nonna would be thrilled someone was craving her recipe so much.” He went to the fridge and took out two beers, handing one to Steve. 

“So what’s the plan? Once this road trip is over?” He regretted asking instantly as he watched Steve’s shoulders tighten, and he opened his mouth to change the subject but before he could, the man took a deep breath and relaxed. 

“I’m not sure yet. I have to get back to work, but I just feel a little…”

“Lost?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, swallowing hard. “Adrift.”

“I mean, I can talk to you about finding your passion, but I don’t have the military side of it that would help put it in the right context. I know that when Rhodey left the Airforce it took time for him to decide on his next move. He’d planned to be career military, but his injury meant he couldn’t serve anymore and he’s not the behind-the-desk type. So you know, what’s the closest thing to an active war zone in civilian life? Hospitality!” 

He was pleased when Steve laughed and smirked. “And herding cats?”

“And herding cats, literally herding cats, nothing is more frustrating and less rewarding, except maybe dealing with air force bureaucracy. So it suits him. You might be able to talk to him, maybe he could give you some advice?”

Steve nodded and Tony was pleased to see he seemed to be taking the advice on board. “Maybe I’ll give it a try tomorrow.”

“Good idea, you can do it in the morning if you like. I’m going to be mostly cleaning and checking stock.” He used a fork to pluck out a piece of spaghetti and tried it. “That’s ready.”

They sat down to dinner, the cats shut out after one of the fosters had leaned over Steve’s shoulder to make a play for his first mouthful straight of the fork. They chatted about movies and music, Tony realising quickly that Steve seemed to have a real thing for the 30s/40s era but somehow wasn’t pretentious about it. He was grateful for all the films he’d watched with Ana since they liked a lot of the same ones. 

Steve was sweet, Tony decided. He was funny and kind, and well, attractive was an understatement, but just so sad. He lit up when they talked but it was like there was a shadow lurking at the edges. The war, Tony assumed, and tried not to poke any hidden bruises. He knew what Rhodey had been like after his injury, so this was hardly his first rodeo. 

So he kept it light, letting Steve fill the space and trying to tease him out, letting him get more personal as the night went on. 

“And then Jim bet him a round of drinks that he couldn’t finish the tin, and I don’t know if you’ve tried army rations but it was...disgusting to watch.”

“Did Falsworth win?”

Steve snorted. “Yeah. He threw up afterwards, but the rules said he only had to keep it down for five minutes. Personally I'd've just paid for the booze.”

Tony laughed. “So those guys, they still serving or did they finish up when you did?”

Steve tensed a little, just for a moment, and Tony worried there was a row of folded flags he couldn’t see, but then Steve let out a little hitch of breath. “A few kept serving, others came home, started families. I’m happy for them.”

“That’s good.” He wasn’t sure whether to keep prodding or not, so instead he stretched, getting up from the table. “How about we watch something hmm? I like  _ It Happened One Night _ , how’s that suit you?”

“We don’t have to watch old movies on my account Tony,” Steve said, looking a little awkward. “I can watch new stuff.”

Tony smiled. “Honestly it’s fine, it’s an old favourite.”

Steve smiled. “Then I’d love to.”

They curled up on the couch, not touching, though Tony could feel the heat of him along his side. He felt the urge to curl up against him, the memory of the cats getting to do just that this morning still in his mind (and the homescreen of his phone but no one needed to know that). Instead he felt the warmth of Steve’s laugh as Clark Gable failed to hitch a ride. 

It felt nice to make him smile, like Tony got to peek behind the mask of this guy who was struggling to find his place in the world. Tony was starting to hope maybe he could be the one to help him find his way.

* * *

Steve had taken lunch in the cafe, as per Tony’s nudging, sitting at the counter and talking with Rhodey. The man had been understanding, sharing his experience and listening to Steve’s own, even as he had to be careful to cover the details. 

“We’ve all been there,” Rhodey said, fiddling with the coffee machine as it hissed and steamed. “You have to accept that your life before is the past, and whatever’s next is the future. A new start.”

“How do you know what that new start is?” Steve couldn’t help but ask. Tony had told him Rhodey had been a rising star in the service, it must’ve been hard to make the change.

Rhodey shrugged. “You don’t. You just have to keep going, work out what feels right.” He tapped his leg. “The doctors said I’d never get full use of it again. I spent months doing physical rehab, and that guy there-” he gestured at the doors to the bookshop where he could see Tony bopping along to some tune they couldn’t hear as he stacked the shelves, “-was there with me everyday, constantly chirping in my ear, telling me I was going to get better or I’d have to stack shelves in that shop of his.” He grinned. “I love the guy but if we had to work behind the same counter, there’d be bloodshed. So I got better.”

Steve snorted, feeling a grin spread over his face. “That easy, huh?”

Rhodey slid a coffee across to him before sipping on his own. “That easy.” He had a quirk to his mouth that belied the simplicity of his statement. Steve knew the process must’ve been gruelling.

“Working in the shop isn’t so bad though,” Steve mused, thinking about the quiet hours he’d spent joking with Tony and lugging books around. Even now he could see how the light shone off his hair and the edges of the glasses he knew would frame a pretty pair of whiskey coloured eyes. “It’s fun, kind of peaceful.”

“Mhmm,” Rhodey said, and his voice had an odd tone to it. “I’m sure you just really love  _ books _ .”

Steve looked back at him, willing himself not to flush. To go red was to give himself away and he had a better poker face than that.

Rhodey stared back and there was a moment where neither backed down before they both laughed, the tension dropping away. Rhodey smiled. “He could do worse.”

They sipped their drinks quietly, looking over the cafe. “Is this what you expected you’d end up doing?”

“God no.I mean the cafe is one thing, but I never expected them.” He gestured to the cats in the walled off pen. “But you know, Improvise, Adapt and Overcome.”

Steve didn’t recognise the phrase, but he knew military speak when he heard it. “Sir, yes sir.”

“I think you’ll find your way too,” Rhodey said, sounding sincere. “You just have to give yourself time.”

Steve swallowed, feeling a wave of emotion flow over him. He had nothing but time he supposed. “I sure hope so.”

He’d gone back to the bookshop after Rhodey had clapped him on the shoulder and handed him a mug of dark coffee for Tony. He’d spent the rest of the afternoon watching the man hum quietly as he wiggled around the shelves. It was cute. 

If this is how he could give himself time, he certainly wouldn’t complain.

“Tony!” a voice called into the shop, and they turned to see who was at the door. 

There was a large man, maybe Steve’s height and colouring, but with a large thick beard and long hair pulled back in a bun.

“Thor, my man!” 

The big guy, Thor he guessed, picked Tony up in a huge bear hug lifting him off the floor. “Anthony! 

Steve felt a small ping of jealousy as Tony laughed loudly as he was flung around by the apparent viking in the bookshop. When he landed back on his feet, he gave Thor a comradely thump on the arm before turning back to Steve.

“Steve, this is Thor, he runs the ‘Bifrost Home for New Friends’ where we get the cats for the cafe.” He looked to the door where a small carrier sat. “And what have you brought me?”

“Ah, a favour I’m afraid,” Thor rumbled. He had an accent Steve realised, scandinavian? “We have a litter of young ones, too young to be left on their own. They’ll need bottle feeding.” He picked up the carrier, tilting it so Steve and Tony could just see a hint of soft fur tucked under a blanket. “I have a foster willing to take them, but she’s out of town till tomorrow night.”

“Awwww,” Tony cooed, his eyes wide, and then seemed to remember Steve was in the room. “I mean yeah, kittens, pretty cute.”

Steve snorted. “Uh huh.”

“Anway, yes, Thor, I will take your tiny, fluffy beans and keep them alive.”

Thor grinned. “I knew I could count on you.” As he held out the container, Steve watched as his muscles flexed, a tattoo of a hammer wrapped in lightning shifting with the bicep. 

Steve huffed. He wouldn’t need to flex to lift a box of tiny cats. 

Tony peeked in through the small, wire door. “Well, hello there. Aren’t you guys little cuties?”

“I’m sure you remember the rules well enough, but the instructions are in with the milk just in case. I fed them before I left, so the next feed should be at 7pm.”

“Got it.”

Steve melted as he watched Tony fuss over the little fuzzballs. He couldn’t help but stare. The way he doted on them was too cute and Steve wasn’t sure his heart could take it. 

There was a slight huff of amusement, too quiet for most people, but not Steve, and he looked up to see Thor raising an eyebrow at him.

_ Busted _ . Steve stared him down, refusing to look embarrassed. No one in their right mind would be able to look at Tony acting all sweet and not be head over heels. He folded his arms in challenge. 

Thor grinned wide and winked at him. “Well, I shall leave you to look after these ones. It’s almost time for the evening feed and the cages won’t clean themselves. It was nice to meet you Steve,” Thor called, as he headed for the door, patting Tony’s shoulder on the way out. 

“Well, that looks like our evening sorted,” Tony said cheerfully. “Come on, let’s close up early. I want to get these guys settled in.”

They cleared the till and locked up the shop before trailing upstairs and tucking the new kittens in, and warming a heating pad to keep them snug overnight. 

“Alright, alright, so we can leave these little guys while we grab a quick dinner and then be back in time for their next feed. Diner?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

* * *

“I see a lot of smirking but not a lot of helping,” Tony complained, looking over at Steve. 

Steve quirked a brow and raised his eye line slightly higher. It took a moment for Tony to understand. 

“Oh.” He pulled the glasses from the top of his head. “I do not appreciate this. I open my home to you, give you a place to rest your weary head, and this is the thanks I get?”

Steve snorted. “Tony.”

“It’s refreshing to see no good deed goes unpunished. Mocked in my own home.” Tony picked up the instructions. “Okay, this all seems fine. Going to be a long night though.”

He peeked into the cage. “Alright, time for you guys to get some dinner hmm?”

Steve expected just to watch, but he found himself plonked down on the sofa with a tiny cat and a tiny bottle, terrified senseless of hurting it. He focused on letting the kitten lie on his hand and suckle eagerly at the bottle. He could feel the tiniest of pricks from the little claws and the tickle of its fur. When it was finished, it lay down, it’s little round belly cupped in his palm. He looked to Tony questioningly. 

“You have to burp it, like a baby,” Tony told him, and then demonstrated on the kitten he held. Steve followed the motion, smiling when the kitten gave a little burp and squeak. 

“You're a natural,” Tony told him, looking pleased. He took back the kitten with his own, tucking them back into the carrier. “All done.” He yawned, looking at the clock. “God, I’ll have to be up to do it again in a few hours. I’m going to hit the hay.” He tucked the carrier in the corner and gave Steve a smile. 

“Night.”

“Night, Tony.”

* * *

Tony’s eyes fluttered open as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. He felt pretty good considering he’d only slept a few hours. As he rolled over he realised the light in the room looked wrong. He frowned, grabbing his phone. “Ah! Fuck!”

8am???

He hadn’t just missed one feed, he was hours late for a second. His heart was pounding as he darted downstairs. Poor little things. God, what was he going to tell Thor?

He bounced off of the living room door frame as he tumbled into the room, heart pounding and--

Oh.

“Hey Tony,” Steve said quietly. He was placing the little black kitten back with the others and tucking them in before closing the cage.

“Hey Steve,” Tony managed, trying to get his heart rate under control. “My alarm didn’t go off.”

“Oh sorry. It seemed like you could use the sleep. I figured I could take care of them.”

“Thanks,” Tony managed softly. He loved his life and his job, but it was a lot of work on his own. It was nice having someone to share the load. 

Especially someone who was absurdly attractive, sweet and Tony was pretty sure he wanted to keep around forever. 

Uh oh. 

Because that was a very stupid mistake, falling for a guy who was just passing through and had no reason to stay. 

And as Steve smiled at him, he felt a growing sense of dread, knowing that any day now his heart was going to be absolutely broken. 

* * *

“Hey there grunt,” Sam called as he entered the shop. 

Steve gave a sloppy salute. “Morning, chairforce.”

Sam made a _ pffft _ sound. “I could do more from my chair, than you could do waving a gun around.” He wiped his hands clean on a rag. “Come take a look at this.”

He led Steve over to his bike. “Now, I’m still waiting on the part, but while I was waiting I gave her a full tune up, polished her up and improved your suspension.” He gave Steve a cocky grin and Steve couldn’t help but smile back. 

“She looks great.”

“Damn right she does. You brought her to the best mechanic in the state.” 

“Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam!”

Steve quirked an eyebrow as a teenager ran into the shop. Sam caught the look. “Shut up, he thinks it’s funny too.” He waved. “Miles, over here.”

“Woah, nice bike!” The boy reached out to touch, but was stopped by Sam putting him in a loose headlock. 

“Hey, hey, hands off, pipsqueak. This here is Mr Rogers’ bike, and he doesn’t need your sticky, teenage-hormone hands all over it.”

The kid yelped, shoving at him. “Sam, lemme go!”

Sam reached down and wiggled his fingers against the kid’s side, grinning as he squawked and started to laugh. “Stop, no! Come on!”

Sam winked at Steve before releasing him. “Miles, say hi to Steve here. Steve, this is my nephew.”

“Hey,” Miles said, trying to compose himself, post-tickle attack. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Steve told him. “So, you like motorbikes?”

“Yeah! I’m saving up to buy one,” he said eagerly. “I want a Triumph Bonneville! Like Steve McQueen!” He curled his hands and made a revving noise. “Sam is going to help me pick one out when I’ve saved enough.”

“Sam is not,” Sam said, with the weariness of someone who had had the same conversation a few times. “Because Sam does not want to cross your mama, and she would show me absolutely no mercy if I helped you get one.”

“Can I ride yours?” Miles asked, ignoring Sam who threw his hands in the air. 

Steve snorted, grinning at Sam before looking down at Miles. “I mean I’d be happy to take you around the block. But your uncle seems like a smart guy, and if he’s scared of your Ma then I think I have the good sense to stay on her good side too.”

Miles pouted and Sam rolled his eyes, giving him a gentle cuff. “What were you after anyway?”

“It’s my first day! You said you’d take me.”

Sam snapped his fingers. “Right, yes, sorry. Alright, you want to grab my keys from the office so I can lock up?”

Miles headed off towards the office as the two men watched him go. 

“Seems like a nice kid,” Steve remarked and Sam nodded. 

“He is. Genius too, another reason I won’t be involved in giving him a bike.”

“He clearly looks up to you.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighed. “I’m damn proud of him. And thankfully, he’s more interested in science than following in my footsteps.”

“You don’t want him in the air force?”

“God no. I’m proud of my service, and I met a number of good guys, but I also lost a lot too. I couldn’t stand it if I had to hold that kid’s flag. Couldn’t face my brother either.” Sam leaned against the table. “So sciences, way safer. He’ll invent a flying car or something, make us all rich.”

“That’s something I’d like to see,” Steve said, smiling at the memory of another flying car. 

Miles jogged back to them looking jittery. “Can we go?”

“Yeah, come one. Steve, we’ll walk you back? Rhodey is giving Miles his first part-time job at the cafe. First shift.”

“Yeah sure,” Steve said, and he followed them both out. “Hope you like cats, kid.”


	3. Chapter 3

They spent the morning in the shop, which Steve enjoyed immensely. 

Tony put him to work dusting the high shelves, and Steve was pleased to find he caught Tony watching him more than once.

At lunchtime, Tony put up the closed sign, and at Steve’s questioning look, Tony grinned. 

“Early close today. It’s Thursday.”

“Thursday?”

“We do a community outreach on Thursday afternoons,” Tony explained as he cashed up the till. “We take some of the older cats to the retirement home and do a visit with the old folks. We take cake from the cafe and have a nice afternoon chatting and letting them pet the cats. You want to come?”

“Sure.” Steve felt a little uneasy, the idea of seeing people who were more in his age bracket leaving an odd feeling in his stomach, but Tony looked so hopeful, he couldn’t say no. 

He helped Tony roundup some of the cafe cats into carriers, and took a few cakes from Rhodey who sent them off with a wave. 

The manager greeted Tony warmly, leading them through to a room filled with older people camped out in chairs. The tv was playing softly and there were a few board games taking place in the corner. 

Steve felt a sudden swoop of nausea even as Tony called, “Hi everyone!”

A number of the residents smiled at his arrival, a few giving little waves, Steve trailing behind him pushing the trolley with the carriers carefully stacked. He tried to keep a friendly smile on his face, but all he could see was his true age reflected back at him.

Tony was a social butterfly, greeting many of the residents by name, all charm and friendliness as he distributed cats around the room. The cats were clearly used to the treatment, curling up on laps for cuddles and playing with a few of the cat toys. 

Watching Tony flirt with some of the older ladies and making them giggle made something in Steve’s stomach feel hot, wishing he could get Tony to turn some of that attention on him. 

He tried to make himself useful, helping the nurse cut up thin slices of cake and place them on plates to be handed out, and as he watched the cake be delivered he felt the uncomfortable feeling spreading further and further into his chest.

Tony appeared at his shoulder, though Steve had no idea how he’d noticed he was struggling. “Hey, you ok?”

Steve nodded, unsure what to say. He felt a little panicked and he had no idea how to explain it with his fabricated backstory. “I’m just a little…”

“Gotcha,” Tony said, and Steve had no idea what he had worked out, but he led Steve over to an empty chair next to an older man who was patting a large black cat. 

“John, this is Steve. He’s ex-military so I bet he’d love to hear some of your war stories.”

The old man’s eyes crinkled. “You’re just saying that because you like my stories.”

Tony snorted. “You got me. But I’m sure he’d love to hear them anyway.” He looked at Steve. “Take a breather with John, hmm? I’ll do the rounds.”

He gave Steve’s hand a squeeze and Steve felt a small thrill at the feeling of Tony’s hand against his. It was warm, and he could feel the light thump of Tony’s pulse. The heat rose in his face, and he tried to clamp down on it, not wanting Tony to see him having such a strong reaction to what was nothing more than a casual touch. It just...felt like more. 

Steve had always known he liked men the same as he’d liked the ladies. Ever since he was that little guy in Brooklyn. He’d accepted it pretty early on. It was illegal, so he wouldn’t act on it, and luckily he liked gals too so no problem. Then, of course, it had turned out to be a moot point since no one, of either sex, was lining up to dance with him. And although Father O’Malley had been sure to point out that being that way was a sin, he also said that people should be happy with the way God made them. So Steve had decided to just not worry about it. 

He’d felt fairly vindicated after the serum - when it had healed all his illnesses and weaknesses, but he still found fellas pleasing to the eye. Guess it wasn’t a sickness of the mind after all.

Then he’d met Peggy and she was...amazing. No one else mattered after that, and he’d been sure they’d get married and have a family, and with that, no one needed to know.

But that future was gone now. Peggy had lived her whole life without him, and he had to learn to move on. _Move on_. The words echoed in his head, the dozens of voices who had told him he’d be fine once he just learned to move on...

He forced those thoughts from his head. That wasn’t something he could dwell on right now.

Now he’d been told that in this time you could take a guy on dates. Marry him. Adopt children and live together, and the only people who would bat an eye were assholes to begin with. 

And Tony...well, Tony was gorgeous. Well toned, soft, dark hair that Steve wanted to run his fingers through. He was shorter, just a bit, enough that if Steve took him in his arms he could wrap him up safe and tuck him under his chin. And his eyes. _His eyes_. Warm like caramel, and twinkling behind the frames of a pair of glasses that just seemed to highlight his quick wit. 

He liked him a lot. More than any other guy he’d met. He wanted to be around him. Even if it was never anything more, being in the orbit of someone else with no agenda, and who wasn’t just going to tell Steve he needed to hurry up and start integrating into the modern world was a huge relief. He just wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. 

Couldn’t he have a little something for himself? Just this once?

Tony gave his hand another squeeze, pulling Steve from his thoughts. “I’ll be back in a bit ok?”

“OK Tony,” he managed, offering a smile, and Tony winked, leaving him with John. 

“You’ll never get a date like that, son,” John said, and Steve’s head whipped around to look at him.

“What?”

“Looking all slack-jawed. You want a date, you have to romance him.”

Steve blinked. This man had grown up the same time he had, how did he know anything about it? “I--uh--”

The man seemed to understand his question and held up a hand. “Ain’t that complicated. My grandson got married last year to a nice boy from the midwest. And he looked at my Bobby just like you look at our Tony.”

Steve swallowed, feeling a tendril of despair. “I’m not in much of a position to be romancing anyone if I’m honest.” 

“Well, don’t spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. When you’re my age you want to be happy with the life you led, not weighed down with regrets.”

_When you’re my age_ , Steve almost snorted. 

“Now, you want a story or what? Tony likes hearing the one about the time I met Captain America in France, but I got a few up my sleeve.”

Steve almost choked on his tongue. “Oh yeah? I’d love to hear that one.”

Steve listened as John talked about a raid he remembered, where they’d teamed up with a squadron to take out an enemy outpost. He had to stop himself from filling in the details, but he let a bit of his knowledge slip in from time to time, and by the time Tony made a reappearance he and John were laughing about some of the lighter parts of wartime.

“Having fun are we?”

John chuckled. “Your boy knows his stuff. It’s nice to see the younger generation knows more than how to stare at their phone.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah we’re all terrible. Alright, let’s hear one, come on.”

John grinned, starting another story, and Tony inexplicably sat on the arm of Steve’s chair sliding until he was braced against Steve’s shoulder. Steve could feel him up along his arm, and he felt the urge to wrap an arm around his waist and tug him onto his lap. He managed to curb the instinct, his fingers twitching against the armchair. Instead he just let himself enjoy it, Tony so close to him, while the gentle ramble of John’s voice filled the air. 

He could imagine doing this. Coming every week, watching Tony dance around the room charming people, and then settling in to sit on Steve’s lap, wrapped in his arms while they talked to the residents - a tabby leapt up onto Steve’s lap and he smiled - looking after the cats. Being introduced as _Tony’s_ _Steve._

Tony laughed at something John said and turned to Steve to share in the joke, smile wide and eyes sparkling with mirth, and Steve felt his stomach swoop.

He was so gone, and that was so very dangerous. 

* * *

Steve sat back in the chair Tony had gotten for him near the counter at the bookshop. Tony was dealing with a customer, and Steve had his sketchbook on his lap, sketching Jem’s fluffy grey ears tucked against the pile of books. If he also just happened to also be sketching Tony in the background, his eyes alight with the possibility of pairing a customer with the perfect book, the light bouncing off his thick wavy hair, the slight curve of his mouth…

Tony’s eyes flitted to his and Steve felt his cheeks heat. He ducked his head, trying to concentrate on Jemison’s fur in the sun. 

Maybe…

Maybe he didn’t have to go. 

It was an odd thought, one he hadn’t really let himself have until now. But, he liked it here. It was quiet and peaceful in a way he hadn’t felt in years and the people here were kind to him, offering their friendship to him not even knowing who he was or what he’d done. They treated him like Steve, and that meant something to him, not to be weighed down by expectation and just able to be a guy people liked talking to. 

And Tony.

_Tony._

Tony who seemed to like him and had given him a home, even if it was just for a little while. Steve liked him, really liked him. He wanted to be around him, soaking up that humour and kindness and maybe getting to hold him close, feel that soft beard against his jaw, those soft lips against his-

Well, that was enough of that. If he kept on he’d have to excuse himself and that would be embarrassing enough.

The bell above the door rang and Steve looked up to see a man in a thick jacket, torn in several places and Steve could see his hand clenching and unclenching from under the sleeve. It put him on edge, even if he couldn’t immediately tell why. It was just another customer most likely, maybe he was the sort who felt anxious talking to people or was having a rough day but it felt like more than that. The way his eyes flitted around the store as if looking for something kept Steve’s attention even as he pretended not to watch. 

Tony smiled as the door closed behind the man, giving him a friendly wave. “Hi there. You after something or just here to browse?”

Tony’s words seemed to spook him, he clearly hadn’t seen Tony behind the shelf when he’d entered. Instead of answering he raised his arm, the cuff falling back to reveal the gun in his hand.

Steve’s blood ran cold. How had he missed that? Stupid. 

“Give me the money,” the man demanded, hand gesturing at the till. “All of it.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “You realise this is a bookshop right? How much do you think I have?”

The man shook the gun. “Look, don’t fuck around. Just give me the money.”

Tony sighed, but opened the till taking out the few bills inside. Steve muscles were tense with inaction. He could stop this. But if he did his cover might be blown.

Tony handed the money over, and the man frowned. “Is this it?”

“I sell books! What were you expecting?”

“Shit.” He turned to leave and noticed one of the kittens sleeping on the stack near the window. “I’ll take this too, it’ll make good bait for the dogs.”

Tony started to move, very clearly prepared to stop him and Steve’s heart was in his throat. In his head, he was running a risk assessment and this guy was desperate. His gun hand was unsteady, and if Tony interfered there was a high chance he’d be shot. 

That was not an acceptable outcome. 

“Hey!” Steve called, grabbing a paperback off the stack and throwing it with precision. It struck the man’s hand hard as he swung around to face Steve, forcing him to drop the gun with a yelp. Steve followed up with a second, this time hitting him in the stomach and causing him to double over, groaning in pain. 

He moved then, forcing him to the ground and using the guy’s own jumper to tie his hands. 

When he stood up, Tony was staring at him wide-eyed. “Nice aim there. Jesus.” Tony walked over to the guy gingerly and grabbed the kitten, tucking it into his arms and moving back behind the counter. “I should call the police.” Tony was starting to tremble, and Steve realised that for all he’d seemed calm and confident, he wasn’t unaffected. He stepped forward, wrapping his hand around Tony’s elbow. 

“I’ll handle it. Come on, come sit down a second.” He started leading Tony over to his chair before realising he didn’t even want him in the same room as the guy. Instead he tugged Tony through the connecting door to the cafe, noticing Rhodey clock them as soon as they entered. 

He came around the counter. “What’s going on?”

Steve lowered Tony into the nearest chair. “Attempted robbery. Can someone call the cops?”

Rhodey’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit, are you ok?”

“Yeah honey-bear,” Tony said, with a strained smile. He gave the kitten a scritch. “Everything’s peachy.”

Rhodey caught Steve’s eye and Steve threw a thumb over his shoulder. “The man’s restrained. They need to come pick him up.”

“Got it.” Rhodey headed back behind the counter to grab his phone. “Darcy, keep an eye on the guy, but keep a safe distance.”

“On it boss.”

Steve took the seat next to Tony, gently rubbing his shoulder. “You did good in there. Not everyone would’ve handled themselves as well as you did.”

Tony snorted, sounding a little shaky. “You going to call me a brave little soldier, sarge?”

Steve grinned. “Nah, but I’ll tell you what, you get a free pass on KP duty tonight, I’ll cook, huh?”

“I like pasta,” Tony said, sounding a little calmer. “Nice and easy.”

“Sounds good.” He could Rhodey in the background, confirming an officer would be with them soon, and felt the tension in his muscles relax. 

“Also, great job with book choice. That one’s been haunting my shop for years and I hated it, now it’s my favourite book ever.”

Steve chuckled. “I know. I’ve seen you scowl at it every morning when you come in.”

“You noticed that?”

“Yeah,” Steve told him, feeling awkward. “I notice a lot of things about you.”

“Oh. Well I-”

“Cops are coming,” Rhodey said, coming over and resting a hand on Tony’s shoulder. He looked at Steve. 

“Thank you.” There was a depth of gratitude there, and Steve had the feeling that Rhodey had spent a lot of time dealing with his slightly reckless best friend.

“It’s no problem. I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.” 

Rhodey seemed to consider him carefully and then nodded. “I believe you.”

“Hey!” Tony complained. “He is right here, and doesn’t like being spoken about like he’s not.” Steve looked down at him, the adrenalin starting to wane and leaving just relief and affection in its wake. 

“Sorry.” His hand trailed through Tony’s hair without thought, pushing it out of the way. It wasn’t until Tony looked at him wide-eyed that he realised what he’d done.

“I--”

Steve didn’t know what he was going to say, but whatever it was, was lost in the sudden sound of helicopter blades. His head shot up, the noise reaching his ears first and the others gave him an odd look before the chopper got close enough that they could hear it too.

Rhodey looked concerned. “Alright Steve, it’s just a helicopter, you’re ok.”

Steve was confused, but then realised what Rhodey thought was happening. “No, I know.” And he almost wished he was having a flashback, because that sound, that sound was worse. That sound meant he--

“It’s landing in the street!” Darcy yelled from the bookshop and Steve felt his eyes fall shut. He wasn’t ready for it to be over, wasn’t ready to say goodbye. He felt like crying but his eyes were dry as he turned to face the street, watching as the helicopter landed on the main street, and Director Fury stepped onto the asphalt. 

“What the fuck?” Tony managed, getting to his feet. “Who is that?”

Rhodey stared. “That’s some high level of Special Ops at least. I don’t recognise the model, and I had pretty high clearance.”

“Why are they landing in our town?” Tony demanded, and Steve saw the moment that Fury clocked him in the cafe. 

For a moment, he had the urge to run.

“They’re here for me,” He said, and saw Rhodey and Tony’s head swivel to look at him.

“If you’re in trouble,” Rhodey said, sounding urgent, “I know some people. I can call, try and pull some strings--”

Steve shook his head, even as the gratitude at the offer tried its best to fill the cold, aching space that was opening in his chest. “It’s for the best. Time’s up.”

Tony grabbed his sleeve. “Steve, what’s happening?”

Fury pushed open the door to the cafe, his one eye scanning the room. “Nice place you found to hole up in Captain Rogers.”

“Yes sir,” Steve agreed, wanting to fight but knowing it was useless. He had to go, and no amount of wishful thinking would change that. He had a job to do. “Nicest place I’ve been.”

“I’m afraid vacation’s over. We have a situation that requires your...unique skills.” 

“Yes sir,” Steve repeated, his heart sinking in his chest. “Let me get my things.”

He didn’t even look at Tony as he headed into the bookshop and through to the apartment stairs. When he got to the living room he packed his clothes into his duffel, all the while trying to memorise every single detail. He was happy here, like he hadn’t been since he’d woken up, hell, since before Bucky had died. 

There was a quiet meep behind him, and Steve smiled at Jemison, eyes finally starting to blur. “I have to go girl,” he told her, giving her a scratch under the chin. “Thanks for looking after me so well.”

“And what about me?” Tony’s voice came from the doorway, sounding almost angry. “Do I get a thank you for putting you up or are you just going to disappear into that helicopter and I’ll never hear from you again?”

Steve picked up his bag and turned to Tony. “Course not. You’ve been so good to me, I can’t thank you enough.”

“But not enough to stay?”

“I can’t,” Steve said, and for a moment he hated the way he could take charge and hide himself away because he desperately wanted to show Tony how much he didn’t want to go, but what good would it do? It wouldn’t change anything. “I’ve appreciated your kindness.”

He sounded like he did on a mission, and he hated it.

“So that’s it?”

“I can leave some money for--”

“I don’t want your damn money, Steve!”

“Captain Rogers,” a voice called from down below. Coulson’s, Steve realised. “We have to go.”

“I’m coming!” He slung his duffel over his shoulder and picked up his shield case. “I’ve got to go.”

He didn’t wait for Tony to say anything, just moved past him, even though it felt like he was being torn in half. Cap was needed, so it looked like he’d be leaving Steve Rogers back here in Cedar Grove.

He gave Rhodey and Darcy a weak smile as he headed towards the door, following Coulson out. The sound of the blades grew louder as he stepped onto the street. 

“Wait, Steve, wait!” And then there was a tug on his case, and the zipper gave way. Steve looked back to see Tony, wide-eyed, the case hanging open and his shield visible to every onlooker on the street.

Steve only had eyes for one.

“That’s -- You-- How?!”

“I have to go,” Steve choked out, backing up towards the chopper. He grabbed the handhold and stepped up into the carriage, his eyes never leaving Tony’s.

The noise became louder as they took off, Rhodey stepping forward to drag Tony a safe distance away, both of them staring up at Steve in shock.

The cat was out of the bag now. And Steve Rogers may as well be back in the ice.

Captain America had a job to do. 

* * *

“What the fuck? What the ACTUAL fuck,” Tony swore staring up at the sky, as the helicopter flew off into the distance. 

“I don’t-- is he?” Rhodey sounded just as shocked, his hand twisting in the fabric of Tony’s sweater.

“I think so? I mean, god I thought he looked familiar but I didn’t think this!” A memory wiggled its way out from the depths of his mind, the photos his father kept in his office of a man he vowed to find…

“Holy shit. Steve Rogers. I just, I thought the name was a coincidence. But that, you said those guys were seriously high level? High enough to, I don’t know, clone Captain America?”

“I don’t know!” Rhodey yelled, looking freaked. “Why would they give him the same name? They could name a clone anything they want!”

“Maybe they’re just Cap fanboys!”

Rhodey stared at him and Tony huffed. “Alright fine, that’s stupid. Oh my god, what if they-” Tony trailed off. 

“What?”

“My dad. When I was a kid he used to go on expeditions to find him. When he died, he left money for them to continue. What if he succeeded?”

“What and he was alive? After seventy years?”

“I don’t know!”

Tony swallowed feeling a stone settle in his stomach.

“I think I love him Rhodey.”

Rhodey slung an arm around his shoulders and hugged him. “I know.”

They stayed there, watching until the helicopter was just a speck on the horizon, before Rhodey led him back inside. 

* * *

Steve stared down at his shield, his heart in his throat. 

“Sorry we had to cut your road trip short, Captain Rogers,” Agent Coulson said, looking up from his folder. “I’m sure there was more of the country you wanted to see, but I’m afraid this takes precedence.”

“I understand,” Steve said, and he could feel it, like a switch in his mind, Cap taking over and his focus on the mission, even as the thought of Tony and the rest of Cedar Grove tried to tighten their hold. Everything else slipped away until all that was left was the job, though the last flicker of Tony looking up at the helicopter made his chest ache. 

He was Captain America, and that was all he could ever be.

“Here are your briefing documents. We’ll be landing in Los Angeles within the hour, and what you’ll find there is a little...odd.” Coulson gave him a look. “It’s a giant gelatinous blob.”

Steve frowned. “I’m sorry I think I misheard. Did you say--”

“A blob. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s big, it’s destroying the city, and we need to stop it.”

Well, he’d seen weird stuff in the war. This wasn’t much stranger. 

Ok, no, it was a lot stranger. But that’s fine. People were in danger. They needed his help, and he was going to provide. And then he guessed he’d give in, and agree to live at the SHIELD compound. 

He flicked through the notes, eyes scanning over the damage being done. He’d have to wait till he was on the ground to really come up with a strategy.

“You got eyes on it?”

“Of course.” Coulson flicked his hand over a screen and an image of a huge shapeless _thing_ terrorising downtown L.A. appeared. It moved, absorbing cars and street signs and dissolving them inside its mass. He watched as a fire hydrant seemed to melt as a tendril of it wrapped around the base. Fuck, that was going to be nasty. 

They landed a fair distance from where the blob was based, arriving to a large group of soldiers dressed in full tactical gear, and several SHIELD agents. Steve stepped off the helicopter, accepting a salute from the agent in charge, who he recognised as Maria Hill. 

“Captain,” she greeted, and Steve gave her a nod as he approached. “We’re glad you’re here.”

“What do we know?”

“It seems to be Terran in nature, potentially the result of some sort of experiment. We don’t know if the intent was to create something that would cause widespread damage or if that’s an unfortunate side effect. Our intelligence division is currently investigating that, so that’s not our concern right now. What we need to do is stop it.”

Steve nodded, looking downtown where he could see the top of the blob peeking out from behind the buildings. “It seems to be dissolving things, is it acidic in some way?”

“Possibly. It does do harm, but it takes time. My suggestion is don’t get swallowed up by it, but short bursts of contact should be ok. We really just need you to hold it in place while our research guys work out how to beat it. If we let it run rampant, the civilian casualties will start mounting fast.”

Steve took a deep breath, shaking the stiffness from his shoulders. “You got it.”

“Good luck Captain,” Director Fury said from behind him. 

“Thank you, sir.”

Then Steve took off down the street, his brain already formulating a plan of attack. This was what he was made for, this was his job and his responsibility. He was here to fight bullies and look out for the little guy. 

There was a flash of Tony, curled up on his couch back at the apartment gesturing at the TV as he got more and more worked up, and Steve felt the curve of a smile before he pushed it back down. Focus. He needed to focus. 

He got closer to the thing, it’s strange yellowy skin looking like jelly. Hell, he called it skin but he didn't know if it had independent thought or if it was just a mass controlled by something else. Not that it mattered. He didn’t need to know that right now. He just needed to keep it in place. 

He pulled his shield from his back and threw it, slicing into the side of it before it looped back around for him to catch. He squinted at the mark - it remained, but didn’t seem to slow it at all. He looked up trying to gauge its height. At least three stories. This was going to be difficult. He watched as the blob absorbed a car. Very difficult. 

But he’d faced tough before, and he’d do it again. He flung his arm back with the shield clasped in his hand and let it go in a wide arc. 

Eyes up, Captain.


	4. Chapter 4

“Steve? Steve!”

Steve fought through the foggy feeling, the voice pulling him to consciousness.

Tony, that was Tony. 

But that didn’t make sense. Tony was back in Cedar Grove and Steve was--

He forced his eyes open, and Tony’s face filled his vision. He looked worried, and Steve could tell he was out of breath, his heart pounding away caught by Steve’s super hearing, but he was there, beautiful and bright eyed. 

“Huh?” Steve managed, his head aching. How could Tony be here?

“Steve, hey! You with me?”

He was trying. His whole body hurt. 

“Come on, focus those big baby blues on me.”

Steve blinked, feeling the pain fade as the serum took care of the bruising. “Tony?”

“Oh, thank god that building didn’t break your brain,” Tony breathed, using his shirt to wipe away some of the blood Steve could feel trickling down from his hairline. 

“What are you doing here?” Steve pushed himself up, grunting at the pain. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I called in a favour, got a flight. You think I was just going to let you leave like that? When we had-- well, I thought we were maybe heading towards something there. Was that just me?”

Steve was feeling confused. Because he’d left Tony, for what he thought was for good, and now he’d been knocked into a building, he had burns on his body from when he’d gotten too close to the blob thing, and he wasn’t even sure where his shield was right now, and now Tony was here and he was saying…

“I’m not sure what’s happening,” he told Tony honestly, and felt a little thrill when Tony laughed. 

“Yeah it’s probably not fair to do this when you’re trying to save the city,” he held out a hand. “Up you get, let’s deal with this thing first.”

Steve clasped his hand, getting to his feet with a hiss. “‘We?’”

“I’m no slouch in the science department. Just because I chose cats and books doesn’t mean I’m not a genius. Coulson called and told me the makeup of this thing. You need to light it up. Electrocute it.”

Steve looked around trying to find something they could use and spotted the power lines on the ground. Hopefully they were still active. “Those should do it.”

“You’ll need to get it to come this way. I can rig something up for you to stick it with then we can send a real jolt through it.” 

Steve shook his head. “Absolutely not. It’s way too dangerous. Head back that way towards SHIELD. Coulson will get you clear.”

“Oh, do you know anything about voltage, circuit breakers?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure you’re an expert.”

“I can get someone els--”

“The longer you wait, the more damage that thing does. Go lead it over here, I’ll grab what I need from those firetrucks over there. Move your ass Rogers.” Before Steve could argue, Tony was taking off and Steve had no choice but to curse and head towards the creature to do his half of the plan. Tony was right, he couldn’t waste time.

He dug his shield out from where it was wedged in someone’s car and ran back towards the blob. It seemed to be aware of things...sort of. He couldn’t see any eyes or face as far as he could tell, but when he knocked down the power lines on one side, the thing jerked as it touched them, moving in the opposite direction. That’s it. 

He jogged down the street leading it back towards Tony, the blob following in his wake. The undulating gelatinous mass moving across the street as it lumbered in the direction of the SHIELD barriers. He picked up the pace as he got closer, wanting to be near Tony in case this whole thing went wrong. 

He tossed the shield knocking down another power line and keeping the blob on track. He caught sight of Tony kneeling on the ground and raced over.

Tony looked up. “Great timing. Here.” He handed Steve a long metal pole. It was attached to a long cable. “You throw pretty well right?”

Steve raised an eyebrow and Tony snorted. “I’m sorry I still can’t get over the whole...Cap thing. You’re going to throw these javelin style right into the centre of it. And once you’re clear, I’m going to clamp these to the power source and boom, that thing will be fried.” He looked a little manic with the thought of it and Steve looked at him with concern. “What? It’ll work.”

“I trust you,” Steve told him, and was surprised how true it was. He’d only known Tony a few days and he already knew he’d give him everything he could. 

Tony gave him a soft smile. “I’m glad. Now, throw that lightning bolt Zeus!”

“What?”

“Toss the stick!”

“Right!” Steve picked up two of the makeshift javelins and jogged back towards the blob. He picked up speed and then threw his arms back before thrusting it forward and sending the rod sailing through the air and right into the heart of the creature. As soon as the first one was In, he wound up for a second toss, landing it right beside the other. Tony whooped behind him and Steve grinned at him, enjoying the feeling of working together. 

“Get clear, I’m going to light him up!”

Steve stepped back, putting himself between Tony and the creature, and watched as the current pulsed through it, making it writhe and wriggle, the pressure seeming to build as it started to smoke and then—

It seemed to happen in slow motion, the thing bursting apart and parts of it flying everywhere. Steve leapt back curling around Tony and using the shield to block the debris falling from the sky. He could feel Tony’s breath against his collarbone through the suit and let his eyes fall shut at the feeling. 

When it seemed as though the rain of jelly was over, Steve lowered the shield looking around at the mess they’d made. He had a feeling lots of people were going to be pretty mad. 

“Holy shit,” Tony said, and Steve looked down to see him, eyes wide and smiling like a school kid. “It worked!!! Did you see that, oh my god!”

“Sure did,” Steve agreed. He looked down at the remnants of the creature on his uniform. “Come on, SHIELD will have a space for us to wash off. I don’t want to test if this stuff is still dangerous.”

Tony looked at the goo on his jeans. “Yeah, I don’t do cutoffs. Let’s go.”

They scrubbed off in the decontamination area that had been set up, Fury giving Steve an approving look as they approached.

“Good job, Captain,” he said, a satisfied grin on his face. 

“Couldn’t have done it alone, sir,” Steve shot back and followed Tony to the showers. He stripped off on autopilot, grateful for the individual booths provided and scrubbed himself down without much pomp and circumstance. When he’d gotten changed into fresh clothes and walked out to the waiting area, he found Tony in a similar state, seated on a bench and wrapped in a blanket. 

Steve joined him, leaving a little space between them even though he craved the closeness. “You did good out there.”

“You weren’t so bad yourself, Spangles,” Tony told him, a small tired smile on his face. “Pretty damn good for a guy who’s been dead seventy years.”

Steve winced. “I probably owe you an explanation.”

“Little bit.”

So Steve told him. Told him about the ice, waking up, the way the world felt new and confusing and how he’d run, gone on a road trip just so he could clear his head. His mind could finally stop screaming at him that everything was  _ wrong _ .

And Tony listened, making sympathetic sounds and nodding like it made sense instead of being crazy, and when he finished, Steve slumped his shoulders and sighed. “I guess this was the push I needed to get back into it.”

Tony hummed unsure for a moment and scooted closer. 

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Tony told him, voice almost too gentle. “A lot of people wouldn’t have managed to do as well as you have, you should be proud.”

Steve shook his head. “I got to live. A lot of guys didn’t. I shouldn’t be wasting time. I have these gifts for a reason, that means something.”

“It means you have a responsibility, I get that. But it shouldn’t come at the expense of you getting to live your life and be happy.” Tony swallowed looking nervous. “I thought maybe I could make you happy.”

Steve felt like his chest was cracking open, a flood of emotion pushing its way out. “Tony, you’re-- I--,” he took a breath, the effort almost painful. “I can’t just stop, I’m--”

“I know that you can’t give up being Captain America, and wow is that a sentence I never imagined I’d have to say, but maybe you don’t have to be him all the time?” Tony looked at him hopefully. “Maybe sometimes you could go and fight the good fight and beat the bad guys, and the rest of the time,” he hand trailed up Steve’s arm, coming to rest on his elbow. “You could be in Cedar Grove with me, and just be Steve.”

Steve sighed, leaning into the touch. “I’m not sure I even know who that guy is anymore.”

“I do,” Tony told him fiercely. “Steve is that little guy Dr Erskine thought had a good enough heart to be a hero. Steve, who would stay up all night to bottle feed three kittens too small to be away from their mom. Steve is a guy who noticed which book I hated just from a few glances and chose that one to weaponise. I like that guy.” He swallowed nervously. “I like that guy a lot.”

He wanted it. So much, but— “I’m dangerous. If I stay, you'll be a target.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “I’m Howard’s kid. You think I don’t understand security? I meant it when I said just because my passion is books, doesn’t mean I’m not still a genius. Trust me, I’m more than up to the task.” He shrugged. “Besides, anything could happen, whether you’re here or not. I was robbed remember? No point in putting off things you want just because something bad  _ might _ happen.”

Steve considered that carefully. Could he do it? Could he be more than just a suit and a shield? 

He let the idea trickle in, allowing himself to imagine it. Warm evenings with Tony and the cats, helping out at the shop, drinking coffee with Rhodey and Sam, working on his art. And sometimes, he could put on his suit, and he could help and protect people, be Captain America. Then when the mission was over, he could come back and crawl into bed with Tony, wrap him in his arms and remember why he needed to fight in the first place. 

He wanted it. He wanted it so badly. 

“I’m not sure I know how to let go.”

Tony’s hand came up to cup his cheek, and Steve met those warm brown eyes. “I can help with that. I have a bit of experience with stepping back and finding what makes me happy.” He smiled. “And I know a certain cat who would love it if you learned how to take it easy and spent more time giving her snuggles.”

Steve chuckled, though it sounded a little wet. “Oh well, if it’s for Jemison, how can I refuse?”

“Maybe some of it could be for me too,” Tony told him, his smile going soft. “But it mostly needs to be for you. I think you can do it, and I’ll support you every step of the way.”

His chest felt like it might burst open, a battle between what he wanted and what was his duty. 

“Hey,” Tony asked softly, leaning in till Steve could feel the warmth from his body. “What does  _ Steve _ want?”

And maybe it was just that simple. “I want to stay.”

“Then stay.” Then they were kissing, and Steve pulled Tony into him, never wanting to let go, and feeling the joy sweep over him as Tony clung to him in return. He deepened the kiss, curved his arms under Tony’s thighs, and lifted him to get him closer.

Tony squeaked and pulled back, his eyes wide. “Jesus, is that even hard for you?”

Steve shook his head. “I could do this all day.”

“Oh we are so exploring that later,” Tony told him, his tone suggestive, and Steve grinned leaning back in to capture his mouth. 

It felt right, he realised. Holding Tony made it real, and he knew, he’d made the right decision. He felt a year’s worth of stress and misery and fear slip away, like taking off a straight-jacket. He felt like he could breathe properly for the first time since he’d woken up from the ice. 

He would still need to work at it. He knew there’d be hard days too. But this felt like the first step to being ok. To being Steve Rogers again. 

He moved to kiss Tony’s jaw and nuzzle at his hair. “Can we go home?”

He felt Tony nod, and felt his lips against his forehead. “Yeah. Let me take you home.”

* * *

Watching Tony berate Fury into giving them a lift was something Steve was going to treasure for a long time. 

Fury had given him a look over Tony’s head, and Steve had just smirked in response. Fury sighed and nodded. “Alright fine, everyone in the jet.”

“That’s what I thought,” Tony said, his voice triumphant and Steve snorted, throwing his arm around him and giving him a side hug. 

“Maybe don’t threaten SHIELD, Tony. I can’t punch everyone.”

Tony looked up at him slyly. “But you would if I asked right?”

Steve huffed. “Maybe.”

Tony grinned. 

As they settled into their seats, Tony leaned over to Fury. “And another thing, you’ll send over Steve’s contract with SHIELD so he can consider it without some Men in Black knock off looking over his shoulder.”

“Dammit Stark, if you shut up, I’ll make sure Cap here gets the best damn job offer you’ve ever seen.”

“Good.” Tony leaned back, clipping his seatbelt, and Steve rested a hand on his knee. He felt a little spark of joy when Tony just leaned to rest his head on Steve’s shoulder, so openly saying he was Steve’s. 

Fury gave him a raised eyebrow, but there was a slight quirk to his mouth that looked pleased. 

Steve gave him a nod, looking at Tony when he felt him nudge his ribs. “I’m glad you came to town.”

Steve smiled at him. “Me too. I’m lucky I helped a couple outside of Reno or I never would’ve made it.”

Tony stiffened and looked at him. “Couple outside of Reno? What couple outside of Reno?”

Steve raised a brow, feeling confused at his reaction. Why did it matter? “The Jarvises? Edwin and Ana? I helped him with his car and he told me Cedar Grove was nice to visit.”

Tony’s jaw dropped almost comically. “That sneaky…” he trailed off into laughter and pulled out his phone. 

“What?”

“That’s my butler. Ex-butler. Jarvis. Oh I bet he clocked who you were straight away, he used to help Dad on the expeditions to find you.  _ Unbelievable _ .” He was shaking his head in amusement and Steve couldn’t help but feel oddly happy. Somehow it felt right. 

“Guess I was destined to find you then,” he said quietly and Tony looked at him, eyes soft and nodded. “Guess you were.”

Tony gave him a long peck before returning to his phone, no doubt to let the Jarvises know what he knew, and Steve rested his head tiredly on top of Tony’s. He was ready to be home.

* * *

Their homecoming was something of a town event. As they came into land, Steve could see a small group of people gathered near the bookshop, watching and pointing up. Rhodey and Sam were at the forefront, and he could see Miles looking up, eyes near popping out of his head as he tugged at Sam’s sleeve. 

He let Tony get out first, feeling a little nervous. He’d been Steve-from-New-York this morning and now he was returning as Captain America, and he had no doubt the whole town knew. But Tony didn’t let him flounder, he wrapped his hand tightly in Steve’s and tugged him out behind him, all charm as he greeted his curious neighbours. 

“Evening everyone! Sorry, shops closed, but if you're that desperate for a book I’m sure I can make an exception.”

“Holy shit,” Miles blurted and Sam gave him a tap on the head. “I mean, oh my god, you’re Captain America!”

Steve felt a little raw after the day he’d had but he rallied, giving Miles a smile. “That’s me.”

“Can I touch your shield?”

“Let’s give the man time to rest up, huh kid,” Sam told him, pulling him into a one-armed hug. “He just saved L.A. Besides,” and he met Steve’s eyes then, looking sure of the answer, “he’s going to be sticking around I bet.”

Steve gave him nod, feeling a little of the tension drain away. “I am. Seems as good a place as any to get back on my feet.”

“Good. I could use a guy who could lift things in the shop from time to time. Figure even an army grunt like you could manage that.” Sam looked serious for a moment before he and Steve both laughed, and Steve reached out to give him a light punch on the arm. 

“Alright, it’s been a long day and Steve needs sleep. If you guys have questions you can come find him in the cafe tomorrow, got it?” Tony said, and there were sounds of agreement before the crowd slowly dispersed, letting Tony take Steve inside. Rhodey gestured at them to wait, before grabbing them a covered dish from the cafe and handing it over. “Save you guys having to try and cook when you look like you’re about to fall over.” He looked to Steve. “Good to have you back Cap.”

“Thanks,” Steve told him, feeling a slight lump in his throat. He was allowed to stay. 

“Thanks Honeybear,” Tony told him. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

Rhodey gave them a wave before heading out, and they made their way up to the apartment. 

As soon as the door opened they were assaulted by a cluster of cats, all meowing for attention. At the head was Jemison, who leapt up, clawing her way up Steve’s jacket to settle on his shoulders. He gave her a scratch under the chin.

Tony beamed. “Told you she’d miss you.”

Jemison purred, butting her head against his. Steve felt a fond smile spread over his face. “Thanks girl.”

They tucked into the mac and cheese Rhodey had left them, a comfortable silence falling over them as they ate, trying to stop the few insistent paws brave enough to make an attempt. Once they were done, Tony shoved their plates in the sink and yawned. “Go get changed, I’ll get these guys fed and put away for the night.” Tony told him, shooing him towards the bedroom and Steve didn’t fight it. He wanted to be out of the scrubs he was wearing and the SHIELD jacket that was tucked over his shoulders. He stripped down and put on the shirt and pants he used for pajamas. 

He used the bathroom and washed his face and brushed his teeth, his toiletries still on the sink since he’d forgotten to put them in his duffel this morning. When he was done, he fidgeted a bit in Tony’s room unsure what to do. Was he still sleeping on the couch? Should he head back out and help herd the cats? He was still dithering when the ajar door was pushed all the way open and Tony stepped in, looking fondly at him.

He gave Steve a nudge, until he tumbled onto the bed, pulling the covers over his hips. “Settle in while I freshen up.” He left Steve for the bathroom, and Steve let his tired muscles relax as he settled into the bed, feeling the soft sheets against his skin. It was nice. 

Tony came back into the room, already in his sleepwear, and slid into the bed next to Steve. They weren’t touching, but he was close enough that Steve could feel the warmth of his body. He didn’t want to be apart anymore.

He lifted his arm and felt a rush of affection as Tony realised what he wanted and tucked himself underneath, his face resting on Steve’s chest and his head under his chin. Steve closed his eyes, trying to fight back the prick of tears as he soaked up the feeling. How right it felt to have Tony against him.

He got himself under control, shuddering slightly, and when Tony looked up, no doubt to ask what was wrong, he kissed him. It was a slow, hazy thing, getting lost in the feel of Tony’s mouth against his, and Steve revelled in it. Tony’s lips were soft, and his beard slightly rough against Steve’s skin and Steve pulled him tighter against him, their bodies touching from head to toe. 

“I want,” he started, and Tony brought a hand up to his cheek. 

“I know very well what you want,” he said, sounding amused and he shifted a leg, his thigh brushing tantalisingly against a part of him that was becoming very interested in the proceedings. “But I think we should wait.”

Steve frowned. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to wait till Tony wanted to, but they seemed to be on the same page, an answering firmness against Steve’s hip. “Do you not want..?”

“Oh I want very much,” Tony purred, one hand dragging down Steve’s chest and squeezing at his pecs. “So much. But you’ve had a long day, and a lot has happened, and if I remember the classified documents dear old dad kept in his collection, after something like this, all that adrenalin is going to make you crash very hard. You’re tired, you just don’t know it yet.” He leaned up to kiss Steve again. “So let’s just watch something, hmm? Fall asleep when we’re ready. I promise we can revisit this in the morning, and I’ll do all sorts of filthy things to you. But for now, just rest.”

Steve opened his mouth to refute it, but before he opened his mouth, he felt a wave of exhaustion flow over him. The softness of the bed and having Tony warm and safe in his arms seemed suddenly more important than anything else. He nodded. “OK.”

Tony gave him a bright smile, turning so his back was to Steve’s chest as he reached for the remote. He put on some show Steve didn’t recognise and then settled in, pulling Steve’s arm over his waist and linking their hands together. Steve tried not to feel overwhelmed again, tucking his face against the back of Tony’s neck and finally letting himself drift off

And for the first time since he’d woken up from the ice, he didn't want to be anywhere else but here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finished!!! A happy ending for Steve ❤️
> 
> Also it now has art! My dear friend B drew Steve with all his new kitty friends for me as a present 😍😍😍 [Follow her here](https://firulaispng.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you'd like to leave a comment but don't know what to say, I love emojis!!! ❤️
> 
> Come say hi! Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/BladeoftheNebu1)/[Tumblr](https://bladeofthenebula27.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Join the [Put on the Suit (18+) server](https://discord.gg/z5WSqbS) over on discord to hang out with fellow stony fans! It’s a super welcoming community and we have a lot of fun ♥️


End file.
